While there's nothing wrong with dating profiles that list preferences, it’s important not to let the wish list overshadow your dating profile. People go online in search of potential partners because it allows them access to a larger pool of people than they might otherwise meet in their daily lives. It also gives them unlimited potential choices, which can lead me to become indecisive or even paralyzed when considering which qualities are most important in a prospective date. This is when I start thinking about creating an extensive list of personal requirements and “qualities I’m searching for in my future husband/wife.” These lists make dating profiles sound like shopping lists; they come off as very controlling, or just simply people too many choices. The dating world is difficult enough with the endless possibilities, endless competition too. No one wants to be judged on their looks alone or their job title and salary – this will leave people’s dating profiles sounding like a resume; very boring and impersonal. If there's too much detail about who you're looking for, it can actually serve as a turn-off: It makes you seem like you're not that interested in the person browsing your dating profile. There's no need to include extensive lists of preferences; focus more on what kind of person would make a good match for you. If someone thinks they might be right for each other but doesn’t meet all of your requirements, ask yourself if those requirements really matter. People dating online want to feel like there is some spontaneity and excitement still in dating; they don’t want it to be like shopping for groceries on an errand day. Maybe the person you end up dating won’t meet all of your preferences, but that doesn’t mean he/she isn't worth dating! There is someone out there for everybody and what makes dating difficult but interesting. Ditch the wish list (online dating tips) - Dating profile: Hook Me Up: Unleash Your Inner Vixen and Get Him To Beg For You (Online dating advice from a female perspective) dating profiles dating tips dating consultancy dating agency dating site dating hook up relationships dating advice from a female perspective Hook Me Up: Unleash Your Inner Vixen and Get Him To Beg For You (Online dating advice from a female perspective) online dating online dating profile online dating service online dating websites onlindating he's not that into you Posted By: mbm0124 on 11/17/2015 5:07:44 PM Post Reply Share this on Digg Delicious reddit Linkedin Pinterest StumbleUpon Tumblr stumbleupon stumbleupon Google Yahoo! My Web Posted by Michael Benhuri at 3***You may think dating is all about meeting someone who ticks your boxes, but research suggests otherwise. A team of researchers at the University of Iowa asked hundreds of people to fill out dating profiles and choose photos, then were asked to rate these on attractiveness. They did this with real dating profiles; half included detailed wish lists while the other half did not. They found that listings without wish lists were consistently rated more positively than detailed ones (American Psychological Association, 2012). The dating game isn't like buying a car or even choosing a book from Amazon—you don't get to pick exactly what you want in advance. "Research shows that personality is best predicted by how someone behaves in relationships," says Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of The First Sex. "Snap judgments based on dating profiles may not be accurate," she says. "It's better to get to know people." This is because dating profiles don't tell the full story, so you shouldn't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Even if you're head over heels for someone after one great date, there's no guarantee they'll feel the same way two months down the line (UK National Health Service, 2012). This is especially important if you've experienced heartbreak before—you might find yourself dating someone who fits your dream list only to discover things aren't as rosy in reality (Psychology Today, 2013). Remember: personality trumps appearance every time. It's a dating cliché, but the best relationships come when you feel comfortable being yourself—whether that be a bit of a geek or a walking encyclopedia. Scientific research backs up dating clichés again and again. Chemistry is important, so playing hard to get will definitely pay off (around 37% of dating site members say saying "thank you" helps them to decide whether they like someone). And finally, don't be afraid to give it time—the median relationship duration from online dating in one study was 11 months from first message to breakup (Psychology Today, 2012). Your next date could be in a few clicks thanks to these four words: no wish list. Professional white background image available at References: American Psychological Association (2012). Profile Pictures and Romantic Evaluations: Does a Picture Really Matter? American Psychological Association, UK National Health Service (2012). 10 dating red flags. Available at: dating-red-flags.aspx (accessed July 19, 2012). Psychology Today (2013). How to tell if your dating profile is doing more harm than good – and 5 tips to help you improve your online dating success. Available at: dating-profile-harm.aspx (accessed July 19, 2012). Psychology Today(2012). The Science of Dating: Four Words That Can Make or Break a First Date. Available at: dating-and-the-brain.aspx (accessed July 19, 2012). DATE PUBLISHED August 15, 2013 | BY Vanessa Van Edwards About the author: Vanessa Van Edwards is a Social Intelligence Expert and Research Fellow for The PhD Project where she researches dating trends and behavior. She hosts the popular science show, It's Okay To Be Smart . You can follow her on Twitter @vvanedwards . Full bio available here . Copyright Vanessa Van Edwards. Do not copy without permission. If you are unsure, please email me with questions before using my images or writing. Thank you! Thank you for your great dating tips article that I have referred to in several dating seminars! 10/23/2013 6:17 AM Thank you so much for this article. I am a dating coach and use this information all the time when coaching clients on dating profiles 11/3/2013 9:02 PM Thanks for writing about dating profile wording in an intelligent way - it's so easy to be portrayed badly online but if cliches are banned then there is no room to describe oneself with any creativity! 12/12/2013 719 AM Hi everyone